Monday, March 31, 2008

Fear

I read a post on AlwaysLearning yahoo group regarding fear. It really opened my eyes to all my issues surrounding 'safety' and how limiting I am being because of the fears I have of 'what if.' I asked the author's (Joanna Wilkinson) permission to share her post on my blog so here it is:

"Someone emailed me and asked how Sam died and how they had a lot of fear that something would happen to thier child, but didn't know how to stop worrying. I decided to post my response here incase anyone else had the same issues.Sam died 5 years ago, Jan. 19, 2003 when he fell through the ice on a pond at our rec. dept. He was there with friends of ours for their daughters indoor lacrosse game. Their son and Sam went outside and onto the pond. Their son fell through too, but managed to hang on til the rescue workers arrived. Sam was lost instantly. My advice to you, is to let go of your fear. It will do you absolutely no good. It will waste the time you have with your son that could be spent in trust and joy. Breath through it when the fear comes. Let it go. I had fear before Sam died which intensified for my other kids after he died, and I have spent a lot of time breathing through it. I will not let my fear affect my kids life. I will not let it limit their possibilities. I've had to watch my kids go off with other people, with the memory of Sam leaving our house that day to go play with his friend. As they walked off our porch, Sam, who was really excited about playing Animal Crossing with his buddy said to him, "this is going to be the best day of our life!" Every time I watch one of my other kids leave with someone other than me, I have that memory. It helps me to really be grateful for the time I have and to try to not waste it. My oldest has been to Europe and Florida without us. She is driving now and comes and goes quite a bit with work and school. She's heading off to college in the fall. Deep breaths and a knowing that I really cant control her destiny keeps me sane. I try not to let the fear take me deeper.If I can do it. You can do it. Joanna"

I am now really breathing through my fear and letting it go allowing for more freedom for Seth as well as myself. Since I read this post I have let up on my insistance that Seth be home and inside if he doesnt want to go run errands or to an activity with me/us. He has been out with friends twice when no one has been home and guess what - he hasn't been hurt, run over, or killed!

In the email Joanna sent me giving me permission to use her post she said something that is now a new quote I will savor: "It's hard to let our kids go out into the world without us, but we really have no choice. It's in the way we let them go that matters." ~ Joanna Wilkinson

Saturday, March 29, 2008

We *can* chose who and what we are...

This is an amazing video of a neuroanatomist describing the expereince of her own stroke. You will not be sorry you spent the 18:44 minutes to watch it:

http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/229

WOW!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Renewed Faith

I have been taking classes to become a Religious Science Practitioner and tonight is the last of one called "Power of Your Word." I have been somewhat detached from the process and it has been very hard to do the homework (I still have some due). I started out strong and very interested but as the class proceeded, my interest and dedication waned. I *want* to know the information and to deepen my understanding but have just had this blockage of actually following through. I somewhat planned to focus on getting my homework done and getting the reading done and rededicating myself to the spiritual practice this week but had ‘something come up’ (read original blog entry below). In each class a project is required on the last day of class to demonstrate our understanding of the class. After writing this blog entry I realized that it is my project for my class...my demonstration/explanation of my understandings of the material and discussions of the class.

[Begin original blog entry] Last Thursday morning I got a call at 3:45am that lead to me making arrangements to travel to Tulsa. Many people know my dad has been in the hospital since then and in the Cardiac ICU since Saturday morning. He is doing better now and yesterday they moved him from the CICU into a monitored bed...has a while before he gets out completely but we are out of the danger zone now. During this time I have had so much support from dear friends through prayer, them listening, watching my kids, and simply knowing they care. Unless someone has been through it, there is no way to understand how vitally important that support is. Knowing my kids are being cared for in the manor I find important (respectful), that I can pick up the phone any time to escape the seriousness of the situation or be in prayer, and fully knowing I am supported in any way people can possibly do so is simply amazing and beyond words. I am so very blessed with my friends in my community (online and off) that is always there to help anyone, any time.

In addition to this support, I found support through others who have family members in the CICU. It has been amazing to watch how each family member cares deeply about each other. 1 family has been in the hospital with their loved one for a month, 1 has been here for 3 weeks, and 2 have been here for 10 and 11 days, several others have come since we arrived. Every family is concerned about the other. Any news (good or bad), crying, expressions of exhaustion, etc is met with the response one would expect to see from a family member or friend but these people share it with each other. Every time I returned from checking on my dad, a person from a totally different family was awaiting news on how he is doing. Every time another person visits their family, at least one other unrelated person is expecting an update. These are expectations of updates of people who before their arrival here, had no contact with each other. The only noticeable bond being that we are all in the CICU waiting room.

I have been reflecting on this support quite a bit the last couple of days. There hasn’t been any other time in my life that I have had so much genuine support from so many people. I am overflowing with gratitude towards each person. In a class I am in we have been discussing current events and how to see the God in each circumstance because God is everywhere, there is no-where God is not - even if physical perception seems otherwise. In this situation, my personal current event, God is more than evident in most of the happenings but it might not be so blatant if Daddy had not been moved to the CICU. If Daddy had just stayed in his single occupancy room it would be so much easier to see the faults of the staff, the people in the next rooms, the halls, parking lot, etc. I would not have witnessed the amazement that has come with experiencing the CICU waiting room dynamic. God is truly within each of these wonderful people whom I barely know some of their names, let alone enough about them for them to care about me, my family and my dad. We are all connected and though I am fairly sure none of them see it the way I do, deeper than just the ICU connection, they still care intensely about each other and that person’s family member lying in the ICU bed.

Seeing the God within this situation, this renewing of my faith in humanity, is also renewing my dedication to my studies and my spiritual practice. There are so many things we can chose to focus on, so much negativity, then all the sudden God presents us with what could be seen as a horribly negative experience that really ends up providing us with a renewed sense of Knowing. Knowing we are all One. Knowing there is Truly no separation – no us vs. them. Knowing that spiritual practice and treatments/prayer keep us aware of that connection. Knowing, simply Knowing. Thank you God for this experience, this lesson – Thank You! [End original blog entry]

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Aden's Day

I have been ill since Sunday so Aden's days have been filled with TV watching and quiet play. Pretty boring after a while and I hate that. Today i am feeling better though stomach still cramping a bit whenever I eat anything. I think tomorrow it will all be gone and i will be back to my normal. So today Aden has had the luxury of doing a bit more than the last few days. He played outside for a bit - until hearing some birds fighting in a nearby tree which freaked him out. Before that he picked me some flowers which we placed in a cup of water.


He has painted 2 pictures.
And right now he is playing in the tub of rice and beans. I created this tub when he was smaller because he wanted a sandbox so bad but living at my FIL's house, I didn't feel right killing the yard with one. So i bought a bunch of rice and a bunch of beans and put it in a tub with cheap measuring cups and spoons and other kitchen stuff. He used to be able to fit inside it and have a great time burying his legs, etc. This time he is having a harder time being inside it but loving it just the same. So, rice and beans anyone?

Oh look he can still bury at least an ankle! And it feels so good to document the things he does because it really helps me to see that we don't just do nothing all day, parts of our day are filled with exploring. As the weather warms we will do more outdoor explorations I am sure! Now if i could just get Seth's life documented...seems he is always online, playing a game, watching TV, on the phone or out running the neighborhood/skating...not much to take pics of though i do have some I am debating posting (new girlfriend).

Feeling the Baby

I felt the baby move laaaaaate last night with my hands. I was laying there unable/unwilling to sleep because s/he was moving around in there and it was neat to feel so vividly plus it was giving my mind something else to focus on besides the to do list in my head. I thought, if Chet could feel it a week ago, why can't i (i have been trying)? So i put my hands on my belly and s/he stilled for a bit then started moving again and i felt it ever so slightly. I almost woke Chet but i was afraid if i moved s/he would stop moving and i would have awakened him for nothing. As i laid there longer i felt it more and more definitively...I had forgotten how cool pregnancy is...how cool it is to feel the life growing within, knowing I am co-creating with God on a whole different level than what we all normally experience day-to-day.

Life is amazingly good!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

"So, What can I do for you today?"


This is Aden...pure Aden. I haven't a clue where he gets some of his little sayings but this is one he says ever so often and this time I was able to get a picture. He is sitting amongst my new pregnancy pillow (on bottom), my old body pillow (on top), his "Cars" blanket and a pillow from the couch (under his hand). He just sat there while i was preparing for the day and said in a mater-of-fact customer service-type voice, "So, what can I do for you today?" over and over. Can't get much cuter than that!

Friday, March 14, 2008

An Affirmation of sorts...

My life has been showing me that i really need to focus more on listening to that God-voice within. Last night in class we read an article from the Science of Mind Magazine Dec. 1992 by Rev. William Curtis. It really spoke to what i am dealing with right now and i want to share it. I am adopting many of these statements as affirmations:

"God Never asks a question. It is not necessary for God to ask questions because God already knows all the answers. The word for this is "omniscience." It means that God is the source of all knowledge, wisdom, and intelligence. Since I am one with God, then I have access to all knowledge, wisdom and intelligence. I know what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. I have all the answers. There is Something within me that knows. I trust it totally. It is never wrong; it is always right.

I am filled with confidence because I know, and I know that I know. I never have to worry about the outcome because I am always divinely guided into perfect right decision and perfect right action. I never worry about the "means" because the "end" is already secure. My purpose in life is to express God. God's purpose in life is to live fully, joyously, creatively and lovingly. I fulfill God's purpose when I live that way, for I am a vehicle of God's life. I am the means by which God lives. Accordingly, I am endowed with everything necessary to live God's life: all knowledge, all wisdom, all intelligence.

Knowing this, I now approach each day with excitement and great expectations. Every day is a new opportunity for me to express God, and I have within me an inexhaustible reservoir of resources to do a magnificent job of living God's life.

I draw upon my inner reservoir of knowledge, wisdom, and intelligence to answer every question and to meet every challenge that presents itself to me today. I have an inexhaustible supply of answers, and they are all right answers. I approach this day in total confidence."

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Making Mostly Organic Guacamole

Aden is not usually terribly interested in kitchen happenings but Sunday we made cookies (from a bucket) and tonight we made organic guacamole. Chet made tacos for dinner and since we just got our share from the organic co-op with 3 avocados in it, he suggested i make guac. Aden wanted to help cut and we started with all the 'other' ingredients first (organic lemon, organic onion and organic garlic). He doesn't like the smell of garlic but liked smashing it. He doesn't like onions at all - they made his eyes water and he promptly said "I am getting away from the onions." Then came time for the avocados so i called him back to the kitchen to help with that. He was having such a great time and so focused! His first time using a sharp knife (Chet was very nervous) went great...i had to remind him not to wave it around and to watch both our fingers but he really did great. He cut the avocados in super small pieces just right for mashing.
He helped me mash and then tasted it - liked it at first until he got an onion piece. After he was through tasting i put some salsa in it...not organic but the best salsa i have ever found (http://www.amigo-salsa.org/). Anyway, pretty good guacamole for my first time ever making it - and i even winged it! Aden was such a great help and i was glad Chet was home to take pics!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Unschooling Food Revisited

We bought a food tray this weekend and tons of quick snacks to fill it with, including candy! I filled it this morning and showed Aden, telling him it is for the whole family and showed him where we will keep it (so the dog wont get into it).
Here is the pic right after laying it out at about 10am:

So i have a protein section, a carbs section, a fruit section, a candy section and a chocolate chips section which I will interchange with veggies one the candy looses some attention. The first thing Aden grabbed was candy, then saw the goldfish crackers and had some of them and someone - Seth or Aden ate some cheese.
Here is a pic at about 11:30:

Funny how the chocolate chip section is all stirred in together, the fruit is almost untouched and the candy and cheese are almost gone... I will stop hyperfocusing on the candy in a few days, i promise.

Best Santa Present EVER!


The trampoline has got to be one of Santa's best investments! The boys like to go out and jump together which has been a great bonding time for them. Of course thre are times Aden gets freaked out by Seth (conditioned response form the way Seth tries to freak him out in general) but over all, if they go out there, they jump for quite a while. I love that its starting to get warmer and they will be able to do it more! Gotta love trampolines!

Can't Sleep

I had been laying awake for about 30 min or so before having to go pee, then tried to go back to sleep for another 15 to 30 min until giving up and leaving the bed...that was about 4:45am. So, i guess i have been awake since about 4ish. GREAT! Now it's 5:45 and i am merely *starting* to feel slightly sleepy - knowing that if i try to move positions i will just wake back up again.
I am really trying not to complain too much about it but this had been going on for probably about a week or 2. Waking before dawn, usually to pee, then not being able to return to sleep until maybe 15 to 30 minutes before either i have to get up or Aden is awake. Either way i have been loosing about 2 or 3 hours of sleep each night. I usually get in bed by 11 and most 'normal' people would be okay with 6 hours of sleep. Factor in that i don't get to sleep until probably 11:30 or 12 and that my normal "feelin good" sleep requirement is at least 8 but function better with 9 or 10 hours of sleep...i am really loosing about 4 hours on average each night.
Then add to that this whole daylight savings time thing and geez things are wacky! I was looking forward to it, actually because that means the sun stays down longer and Aden stays asleep a bit longer...meaning i would get to sleep more than that 15-30 min after being awake for a few hours pre-dawn. What i didn't consider is the fact my internal clock that was getting me up around 5:45 would still be set for 5:45 standard time, instead of daylight savings time!
So this morning i woke to thoughts of things i need to get done today that i didn't get on my to do list before going to bed. I laid there telling myself to remember and go back to sleep. Well then guess who realized i was awake and i am guessing thought it was time to play...this lil bundle i am gestating! I have been anxious to feel it moving around in there more definitively and consistently so when i do feel those flutters, i get all into waiting for the next one. This hasn't been an issue at all until this morning and i am really not complaining about that - if i am going to be awake, i would rather play with a baby (event if in womb) than toss and turn the rest of the night.
Here i sit blogging about not being able to sleep and Chet just emerged from the bedroom to prepare for work. At least *I* can get some semblance of a nap during the day...even if i do have too much to get accomplished...lol I will have to remind myself that there is plenty of time and there are things on my list that *can* and probably will wait for Tuesday or Wednesday.
I think I might try to get to bed now (6am), maybe listening to my birth prep meditations will get me to sleep...until my alarm rings at 8, that is...

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Oh the Irony...and the lessons

[some history first] For Seth's 13th birthday in July 2007 we went a bit overboard financially and got him a hefty Visa Giftcard *and* a Zumiez Gift Card plus he got another Zumiez card from his grandpa. I don't remember the exact amount but he had enough to get a top of the line "pro" skateboard and accessories with some left over. He doesn't get $ or gift cards very often so i wanted to just let him do what he wanted with the $ - it was *his* after all, right? He spent all of this visa card and some of his Zumiez card at Zumiez. I pointed out that now he would be limited to buying something from Zumiez and that he should have spent all of his Zumiez cards and then paid the balance with the Visa so he could spend the Visa where ever he wanted. He didn't care, he was on cloud 9 with his new board.
[today] We were running errands and Seth was complaining about the condition of his 'World Industry' shoes (all beat up). I really had no idea how messed up his shoes are so Chet and I talked tonight. We do not have the $75-$100 to spend on 'pro' skate shoes that will be all torn up within 6 months so we agreed that we would pay $25 toward a pair of shoes (once every 6 months) and that if he wants a special label he can find a LEGAL way to come up with the difference. With this pair of shoes being so bad, we told him we need to replace them by next Sunday (in a week). So he got all excited and went to search for $25 "Fallins" and found an ebay auction for $19 that he *thought* shipping was $4 but when i looked it was $12. So he kept looking...then came out to let me know he wasn't wearing generic skate shoes. I told him that we will just have to get generic other kind of shoes then. He then said he checked the balance on his Zumiez gift card and he has $.25 and mumbled something about "I shouldn't have spent that Gift Card" and i didn't quite understand which card he meant so i asked and he said "The Simon Mall Visa."
I am writing this because i think it is ironic and interesting that he is just now realizing what i meant that day several months ago. I also think it is kinda funny that he still thinks i don't know anything...lol
Of course right now he is an emotional wreck because he cant immediately find the shoes he wants for $25 and is thinking his life is ruined because he is destined to wear 'crappy generic skater shoes' and get laughed at. I am kinda resisting going to his rescue and searching for his ultimate shoes because i *know* if given time, he will figure out a way to get exactly what he wants before Sunday. But i want to be the hero mom and make it all better right now...

Friday, March 7, 2008

Unschooling Candy

I have come to the conclusion that unschooling candy or other sweets only works if you have an abundant supply of all foods available to the kids at all times. I honestly don't care if Aden chooses to eat candy all day w/o so much as a bite of protein, fruit or veggie but this kid is obsessed with candy. Seriously, if he finds out we have candy in the house, he hyper-focuses on it. He does eat other things in addition to candy but only *asks* for the candy. When we go to a friends house, he goes straight for their stash of Halloween candy (he blew through his own in a matter of a week) and asks for popsicles. The only thing i can figure out is that we don't always have it around because we need to spend our $ on more healthy things like the before mentioned protein, fruits and veggies so it is similar to it being 'not allowed'. I am guessing he sees it as something he needs to eat right now because right now is the *only* time we have it available. I was resting on the couch just now and Aden kept going on and on about wanting candy, i told him i need to rest and said i would get it in a minute and he proceeded to take things off the freezer to try to get the candy out of the freezer by himself. I know i shouldn't have but i got so irritated that he was doing that (could have broken the toaster oven and toaster that aren't ours and could have hurt himself) that i got up, grabbed the candy out of the freezer and started just throwing it in the living room floor. I can sit here an analyze why i did all that: 1) my 'mommy time' was interrupted today due to the fact Seth chooses to pester Aden until he cries. 2) I am sick of living here where we cant just leave stuff out for Aden and he cant be as independent as he wants 3) i was trying to rest because i am not sleeping well again - there are probably more things i need to address but for now those are the main reasons. So Aden ran around the living room picking up candy like it had just fallen from a pinata, piled it on his table, shared some with Seth and left the rest on his table...eating it like it will disappear if he doesn't gobble it up.
I am due a grocery trip this weekend and i am seriously thinking about getting a Sam's Club membership, buying a bunch of candy (and popsicles) and a good misc food tray with a lid (his muffin tin is getting too small) and putting equal amounts of candy and foods in it and setting it out all day every day. I will of course have to keep buying the candy so it is available but that doesn't mean he will eat it all and my thought is that it will all level out where we aren't buying as much candy (because we will have plenty left). And besides, one bag of candy isn't terribly expensive to get every 2 weeks, right? I think i am also going to get a good recipe for cookies, muffins, and other 'convenience' foods and make a butt-load of them to have those available too. Heck, maybe if they are around all the time, *i* will stop obsessing over them. I am gonna go eat some candy now...(emotional eating at its finest)

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Another First

Aden had an interest in the computer around age 15mo and we got him a toddler mouse (Elmo) that would allow for the toddler squeeze of a mouse instead of the one finger click on the right button. After receiving and configuring the mouse Aden lost interest in doing it himself and decided having us operate the mouse was easier. So that is how we have been playing on the computer - him pointing or telling me and me clicking. Today, after starting starfall, i decided to see if he wanted to do the mouse himself. At first it didn't work right because i had forgotten that we changed computers and i hadn't fixed his mouse on this one. So he patiently waited for me to get that fixed, YAY MOM! Then I showed him 1 time what to do, mainly that the arrow turns into a little hand *then* you can click and that you have to hold the mouse still while you click or it won't work right. Then i let him do his thing.
I tried to get a good pic of the screen too but it is just up too high. And don't pay attention to the messy/crowded desk! Aden is the focus here...
It was very impressive to me how easily he took to it. He did very well, though doesn't quite understand the picking the mouse up to move it when it is about to fall of the edge of the desk (that wouldn't be a problem is there were more room on this desk). We sat here for a little over an hour playing starfall "ABC's" with him getting more and more comfortable with the mouse. I do wish there were a way to turn off all other controls on the screen for him to be able to play w/o me worrying about him clicking something that would temporarily mess things up and cause a break in the playtime. I look forward to him having his own space and own computer to play on once we are in our own home...look out cyber-worlds and game makers!

Aden & Seth's Couch Fort

I was in front of the computer in my room, as usual, and Seth and Aden were playing in the living room. Odd thing was, they were playing pretty well together and it wasn't turning into Aden getting hurt or frustrated. Then i heard them both beckoning me so i dutifully pried myself off my chair to see what they so desperately needed to show me. I need to just start grabbing my camera when they do that. So i walk into the room and the couch cushion is standing on its side and the boys are behind it with a blanket kind of draped over the cushion.
I got the idea that they were trying to make a fort and instead of just making suggestions, i started 'helping.' (Note to self: stand back and let them create together.) Anyway, so i had Seth get off the couch so i could pull it out and drape the blanket over the cushion and the back of the couch to leave a tunnel-like fort for them. Seth said nothing, just went outside to jump on the trampoline. Aden crawled in all excited so i took some pictures...some posed, some not...all of them fun.
Very much a posed pic...lol
And this is Aden inside the fort with me holding the camera (upside down) in hopes of getting a good shot w/o being able to see. So here he is really standing up and the blanket is above him...
I started to take some of Seth jumping in this cold-ass weather but he was already off and wouldn't let me get a decent pic... Here is the closest i got to my goal (he is running from me to the mailbox to get the mail):
I need to go apologize to him for taking over the fort building, oh the joys of respectful parenting! Off i go...
PS: I am liking blogspot a lot!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Quotable Quotes

I am reading "Primal Mothering in a Modern World" by Hygeia Halfmoon, PhD. Here are a few excerpts from parts of the book:

"Mother's milk literally feeds the intellect of humanity"
"I am of a "free-lance educator" variety. My children and I work together to create avenues for learning that are mutually satisfying."
"Making love successfully does not require an orgy background, and socialization development is not defined by crowded classrooms and concrete courtyards."

Hope you enjoy them :}

CPR/First Aid - Adults, Children, Infants

I have been meaning to take a CPR/First Aid class for years and finally did...with prompting and incentives (thanks Melissa). After waking at about 5a to go pee (imagine that) and not being able to get back to sleep until probably about 6:15a, I woke to the alarm clock beeping at 6:30a. The alarm that is usually for Chet was for me today and damn i hate that thing! I laid there for about 15 min. until i was able to pry myself off the bed and into the shower.

I guess i really needed the water to be cooler than normal because when i got in I woke right up...it was pretty cold by my standards. Finally, after some adjusting, it warmed to a more normal temp and i enjoyed a real shower w/o fear of someone walking in and bringing a cold draft with them. Then proceeded to get ready and make breakfast then out the door before 7:45a. I was set for some bad traffic but there wasn't really any stop-and-go action like i thought.

I arrived at the American Red Cross building before 8, my class was scheduled for 8:30 so i sat in the car and read a book, how very nice! Once i went in i was the 2nd person there and settled in for a long day - class scheduled to end at 4:30. The instructor was a neat older gentleman with tons of experience in various fields which helped make the class interesting. Plus there was more interaction than in previous certifications i had taken so that helped keep everyone awake and alert. We did CPR training first and finished it right about 12:30, including taking the test and getting our cards saying we are officially trained.

Took 30 min. for lunch, which i ate in the van and read more of my book. First Aid was next on the list and again had more interaction and interesting tidbits from the instructor. We ended around 2:45, instead of 4:30. It was nice to expect to be there longer and get out early!

2 of the best parts of these classes is the reference sheets and booklet we got to keep AND the certification cards being handed out right then...no waiting for them to come in the mail! Quite a lot of information and resources for the $45 fee, and the experience of the instructor really made it an overall good experience for me. I highly recommend taking these trainings and if you can happen upon 'Mac' McMillin as the instructor, you will know what i mean when i say "he was funny in an old man kind of way"
I missed taking the kids to what looks to have been a great craft day with FYI but i am glad i went to my thing and that Chet was able to spend the day with the boys, experiencing a bit of our daily life with our great group of fellow unschoolers. I am ready for bed and ready to be able to not wake to the alarm again for a long time!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

A couple of firsts...


Isn't he just cute? Dang!
Aden was first a child who loved veggies then turned to one that just wouldn't eat many - least of all peas. Tonight Grandpa made Chicken & Noodles which always is accompanied with potatoes and peas & carrots. As usual I put some of everything on his plate in hopes he would eat at least some of it. He ate ALL the noodles and chicken, half of the potatoes and almost all the peas & carrots! In the middle of each meal it ends up with either Chet or I feeding him, per his request so imagine my shock when he closed his mouth to a bite of chicken & noodle and requested peas and carrots...several times in a row! So that is 1 first...


Then as we were sitting there he said "I wish someone where here to play with me and eat." And i said, "you do? Who do you wish were here?" He said, "JJ, he's my friend." Aden has never really mentioned other kids before when we are alone. Usually it is when someone is missing from a FYI event or when i directly mention someone. And he has definitely never said that he wished someone was over to play with him. This is interesting to me because some friends of mine and I were discussing this very thing just Sat. evening. How he is so content to play in his own space w/o needing or wanting others, least of all someone specific. So that is the 2nd first...


Fun to document the 'firsts' like this instead of trying to commit them to memory. I need to start writing down the wonderful stories he comes up with...note to self: put a notebook and pen in every room and near every chair - but out of Aden's reach so they are sure to be there when you need them.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Back in the swing

Last Thursday I didn't do so great in following the Brewer diet, i started again on Friday and did better but not as well as Mon-Wed. The weekend wasn't much better than Friday and i haven't written anything down to know how i did numbers-wise. I was geared up to start fresh today and i *did* get a decent breakfast in but we are out of soy milk so i haven't had any for the last 2 days. I am supposed to have about 4 servings of milk a day and now i know 2 bottles of soy milk wont last even a week with Aden & I both drinking it. I should have gone to the store yesterday but i wasn't feeling well and i was on a mission to get the pre-spring cleaning completed and today it is just too cold to think about going (yes i am a wuss). I am going to get a list together to go tonight or tomorrow so no more excuses!
One thing i am getting better at is not seeing it as an all or nothing thing. In the past i would mess up a diet and then say well forget it! This one i am starting each day new and getting to that place of being able to re-commit each day, instead of just quitting because i did it 'wrong' that day. I am sure part of that is this growing lil person inside of me - cant just give up on him/her.
So off i go to get my list going and grateful that we actually still have $ left to buy the things we need! Yay us and our budget!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Depths of Dispair - No More


Yesterday and today Seth and I worked on cleaning his room. It was not very unschooly of me but i just couldnt take the health/safety hazard any longer! Besides, alllll of us worked to go through our clothes and other items to let go of things we aren't using. Back to Seth's room. We should have taken a before picture but we didn't so i will have to give you the run-down.

There was NO place to put a foot down w/o stepping on something. If one managed to get past the door, there was a high likelihood of them tripping and getting hurt. And that was just the floor. Under his bed was packed with things and all surfaces were covered with even more stuff. We started at about 11am and stopped at 6pm on Saturday. Today we started again about 11am and finished about 2pm. Yesterday we filled a 45 gallon "contractor bag" trash bag with trash. Today we had another one about 3/4 full. I think that averages out to say that 90% of his room contained trash! Yesterday we decided to take the frame out from under his bed so he cant stuff things under it anymore...We filled his laundry basket with clothes from under his bed and dresser. I cleaned out his closet which mostly contained more trash but also Chet's clothes and a few of mine (which we went through to give away). The end result of all this work is the picture (thanks Heather for telling me how to do pics on here!). If you can't tell his room is tiny and to think there was approx 78 gallons of trash in there and he was able to open and shut his door is just amazing to me! I think the best part of this room cleaning is that he did most of the work himself - i helped put things away there went in other areas of the house, kept the pace going as much as i could and kept the flow going but other than that i was not the one cleaning his room like usual.

I have a few areas left to go through (Outside toys and the hall cabinet) and the pre-spring clean will be complete - next free weekend will include the actual spring cleaning! I am so greatful for my family being willing (at least partly) to rid our lives of stagnant energy and welcome new energy in that will allow us an easier time to get our own place! Packing for the move in May will be MUCH easier now!