Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Life Changes

Hello Friends. I have some news that needs to be shared.  Many people already know in some form or another but i am finally feeling like sharing formally on my blog...though i am not sure who follows anymore.

My friend, Ren Allen and I have experienced similar happenings in our lives and she “went public” in August. Her sentiments mirror mine so I asked if I could use some of her wording (shown in quotes). My news is that Chet and I are divorcing. 
“That's what "is" in my life at the moment. In many ways, this is just the evolution of our relationship. A new phase in which we will co-parent from separate households and learn how to work together as friends that are not a couple any longer.

People get upset when they hear this news...natural reaction I suppose. But as hard as this transition is, I feel the "rightness" of moving towards having my own place. Riding the waves of sadness, of guilt (mainly for how this could affect my beautiful children who deserve nothing but the best in this life), of looking forward rather than back, of the lovely openness of facing the unknown.

I want to see us both thrive and support each other. That shouldn't change just because people can't be together. Our children will come first, our commitment to nurturing them is the top priority for both of us. I can hear the naysayers now...that in order to do that we must stay together. I disagree.”

On Oct 15th, I moved to Norman and have since been in process of preparing my rental home for a home child care center (I have named it "Abundant Wonder").  My ultimate goal in doing so is to be able to support myself and kids while still being at home with them and homeschooling.  I hope to be licensed by November 15th.  All three kids seem to be adjusting fairly well and I credit that to how sincerely respectful Chet and i have been with each other and the kids.

What I don't need right now:

• A million questions about how/why etc... Generally speaking, I am a fairly private person (unless i know you well...then i am an open book). I also have my kids around most of the time. I don’t think it’s fair to them to hear me talk about this over and over, no matter how respectful the process has been.
• "Unwarranted sympathy or pity....I'm ok. Truly and honestly. Yes, I will get sad at times and maybe even be weepy. I don't need mushy sympathy, I have been on my own before and actually LIKE it.”

What I do need right now:

• Friends for the kids and I to hang out with, talk with, and understand when we just can’t. Maybe being willing to occasionally let the kids come play while I run errands, prepare for opening my home daycare, etc.

• Patience with me while I work towards a smooth transition for all of us. This has meant and probably will mean that I get behind on things I am normally on top of. It also means I am not being as good a friend as I generally like to be (which plays into the guilty feelings as well).

“Much love to all my amazing friends and family!! I know I will need you more than ever and your support means the world to me.”

1 comment:

littleoldladyinashoe said...

I will do anything I can to help you and the girls would love to see the kids again, they have missed them.

I understand about the living alone...sometimes I really miss it

text me if you have time to get together